Hiding

So my least favorite place during my trip was the part where I was hiding each life from the other. Slowly but surely I came to be comfortable with lying as the way to keep these two lives apart. It was very difficult at first and there was a lot of guilt. Then, slowly I became more and more comfortable and started seeing it as a tool that allowed me to have a "fuller" life! So I was settling very comfortably into this unsustainable way of living and it was in the midst of this "comfort" that the road curved and before I realized it I was on the way back to me, just one me. Just a little more of this horrible time, I was lying to people and there really wasn't malicious intent. Well, I was so far gone that I was able to justify those things in a way that was comfortable. My main argument was that not everyone needs to know all of me and I should then keep them in the world I meet them! If that means I have to lie then it's for the best. The thought of actually believing that is now disgusting to me. But at that time it was what I was using to cope with all that stuff.