This week has been an incredibly difficult week for me. I think what is worst about this week is that coming to it I knew better than ever that I had arrived close to home and was truly ready to enjoy life as Doug 2.0 as it were. Some things changed suddenly and put a damper on the celebration. I don't believe this has stopped or will change where I am now as I really cannot go back. Of course, only those closest to me during this past year would be able to really know where I have been and would be glad to see where I am. So here is this blog to the beginning of the celebration of Doug 2.0. Feel free to join as it will be going on during the entire year and beyond.
It makes me smile to think that I am writing this as if people are actually reading it. Anyhow, early in these posts I mentioned how life often times gets bitter sweet and that is in fact what is happening right now. I am very excited about the possibilities that are ahead while at the same time very sad at how it is that I am beginning this part of my trip. But I digress....
Signs of New Life
Well, I've been able to express how I'm feeling in a better way while at the same time being able to simply retreat when I know I need to not be around people. That's a big thing for me as this past two years have been made more difficult by my inability to communicate and withdraw when I need to. I should also mention that arriving at where I am not is not a new realization or it has not happened this week I have been on this way for months now and actually realized it ever more clearly from around the end of November on. I was glad it was different and felt the difference in my life. Unfortunately much was lost in this process but I believe I have grown from it, though I must admit I cannot really want to embrace the whole being glad for growth thing just yet, haha. I'm not sure exactly how much I have gained vs what I have lost from these past two years but I do look forward to getting more and more clarity on this as time passes.
