So I have been running for a bit now and there are some things I want to air out.
First, there is no love between running and me. I have not been able to enjoy the "runner's high" or anything like that. The first 5 minutes are a constant struggle to keep on going as I feel like I'm dying. So, I do not like running, it isn't a fun activity for me. It's more of a functional thing, it is the fastest easiest way to get exercise. I do not need to pay anyone for the privilege of running and I have no need to drive anywhere to get my workout.
As an aside, winter makes it a bit more inconvenient at times. As of now, thanks to the snow many of the sidewalks are still icy so running has become very interesting. It seems like just as I am getting in a rhythm there is another patch of ice that I need to slow down and dance for. I don't know how else to explain it but every time I am running over ice it's a bit like dancing as I'm looking for different places to step on safely, while listening to music and trying not to slow down too much. I guess that is a funny pic. I wonder if my "dancing" is different depending on the song that is on.
So why do I do it then?
I think I'm doing it because it is part of this whole Doug 2.0 theme with which I have been deeply involved in the past several months. I do not enjoy the event of running but I do appreciate the reason for running. I know running is a healthy activity that helps me in several aspects of life. Every time I run I get a very clearly felt illustration of delayed retribution, a lesson on patience if you will. This type of exercise is also a lesson on the importance of perseverance. A problem I have is that I am easily distracted at times and sometimes that keeps me from carrying through with things. So to live out the 5 minutes before I run and the first 5 minutes of the run serves me as a constant reminder that "sticking with it" is a fundamental part of life that becomes increasingly important during the unpleasant parts.
Lastly I can say that during my "troubled" years I was not very good at figuring out the direction I was following. I did not have any markers up a head that would give my life a sense of direction, I was simply letting life go and floating with it. Living in the moment is great as long as one is aware that the moment is one part of a journey somewhere. With running I also get to explore the wonderful combination of living in the moment fully while at the same time very aware of how that bit of time is part of a greater continuum that is taking me to a specific place. On the whole I can say that I am glad to have a clear goal in mind and the more clear that goal is the more what I dislike seems to become a "boberia". (a boberia [spanish slang], in this context, is something that is bothersome but in no way a limitation that is significant) In other words, the unpleasant aspects of life do not cease to be unpleasant but become something I see as necessary for the journey. They still affect me but in a healthier and less distracting way now.
