a tiring walk

when I started on my way back I had no idea how far away I had gone. I knew as I got on my way that it was far and kept on trying to short cut it telling myself these things are now fixed, I'm already past that marker, I really am closer. If I had been traveling by myself this wouldn't have been that bad, though frustrating yes, but there was someone there with me and I kept on mentioning change before it had actually happened, so in my hope to rush back I kept on pushing someone away, yet this person remained and helped and made me want to be a better man. Several months ago I was out and a great deal of things came together and palpable change actually happened and it showed in my life! I could see glimpses of me up ahead and was recognizing them! It was great and I was very hopeful, I still am hopeful. However, I was still not done paying back the debt I incurred. In my rush to be closer to the true me I promised ahead of where I was and that person grew tired as it was affecting this person's life. So now that person can't walk w/ me anymore and it is the biggest loss I have had to face in a very long time. I don't know what the future will bring for me but as of now I hope for this walk to take me to crossing paths again with my walking partner in such a way that we could take a trip, of the good kind this time around.